Sunday, October 28, 2012

Quite That Simple

Quite That Simple

One night mom and dad had sex
The result, baby had just made the family much more complex
I heard everything they said from inside the womb
The dead too, I presume, hear everything inside the tomb

Daddy often snored at night
Mom on the other hand, seemed to win every fight
My first observations no one seemed to know about
I acted calmly inside Heaven, as the invisible scout

Doctors were annoying with their prying and probing
It must have been uncomfortable for mom to be constantly de-robing
She often had me in headlocks when sitting in funny positions
I of course acted as the escape magician

Kicking and turning I mastered the art of survival learning
In my womb I complained to God for frequently returning
Nonetheless, from the outside I must have looked like a twenty pound bubble
But from the inside I had already planned my mission of trouble

In the comfortable calm, one night mom broke her water
I was to be her surprise, a wonderful daughter
Daddy packed the luggage and no doubt forgot his direction
Yes, father’s getting nervous is no misconception

The final thing I remember was mom having the last contraction
Two rubber hands seemed like an ominous contraption
A good slap across the bum and God said I must leave you behind
Either way, I would have paid anything to have had that doctor fined

It was really quite that simple
From Heavenly hash I returned as a fleshy pimple
Everything the soul had learned was erased at birth
I was sent once again to help Mankind on planet Earth.

Thank you,
Joseph Pede

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