Monday, December 1, 2014

Stephen Harper "Wimp and Traitor" backed by the CIA-Zionist Assassins of Hollywood

Putin Calmly Told Harper to “Bugger Off You Gas Bag”

BRISBANE — Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper today repeated his version of a “testy exchange” with Russian President Vladimir Putin at the G20 meetings, claiming he power-crunched Putin’s hand and bluntly told him to “get out of Ukraine”.

Putin, however, has a different version.

The Russian leader says that Harper’s voice was cracking and he “had a wet food stain on his tie.”

“I call a gas bag a gas bag,” Putin told the Australian Broadcasting Corporation matter-of-factly just before boarding his plane to return to Moscow.

“Yes, Mr. Harper did sort of stutter and mutter get out of Ukraine, but he just kept staring anywhere but my eyes like he was mad at my nose or something.”

“I felt badly for him…he was so nervous.”
Harper had told CNN, CBC and Reuters News immediately following the 30-second confrontation that he went mano-a-mano with Putin and was tempted to “crush his knuckles and make him say Uncle” during their awkward handshake.

“Look. Today I had to be a bully…something I very rarely do, something I don’t like to do,” Harper told media.

When egged on by a FOX News reporter, Harper gave a slow-motion re-enactment of how he says he crushed Putin’s hand, stepped boldly inside the Russian’s comfort zone, glared menacingly down at him, and gruffly delivered the much-quoted line, “Get out of Ukraine.”

CNN’s Wolf Blitzer (not his real name) aired audio on his show earlier today where the word “gas bag” can be clearly heard and Mr. Harper seems to reply, “Sorry”. 

CNN also noted that Mr. Harper was sweating profusely at the time.

Dan LeHomme
Reportering for The Lapine

John Travolta to Play Harper in Biographical Movie

LOS ANGELES — Miramax Films announced today that they have secured the film rights to The Stephen Harper Story and actor John Travolta has been signed to play the Prime Minister of Canada.
“This Harper guy is a movie waiting to happen I tell ya,” said Miramax Film CEO Harvey Weinstein in making the announcement in People Magazine.

“Look at the line this guy actually said….You won’t recognize Canada once I’m done with it…that’s money baby, money.”

Travolta (60) is best known as the star of hit movies such as Pulp Fiction and Grease, and for his earlier role on Welcome Back Kotter. He has frequently been in the news recently for his leadership position in the Church of Scientology and for making lewd passes at the male pilot of his private jet, a male gym trainer, and a UPS driver.

“I like Stephen. He’s got a spiritually calm aura around him,” Travolta told People.

“And he’s got a good head of hair. And he’s musical.”

Weinstein was Executive Producer of Pulp Fiction that starred Travolta but he denies any similarities to The Stephen Harper Story.

“This will be a movie about the inner thoughts of the man. The agenda if you will,” said Weinstein.
“The draft script is box office gold. He refuses to talk to the press. He fires Senators left right and centre. He brings budget documents weighing over 100 pounds into the House of Lords or whatever you call it.”

“Hell, I think he even had a bunch of books burned! Magic!”

The Coen brothers (The Big Lebowski, No Country for Old Men) will direct with shooting scheduled to begin in August in Ottawa, Calgary and Tel Aviv.

“Harper has asked for a cameo role so we’ve got him as a newspaper reporter who gets really pissed when Travolta won’t answer his questions. Ain’t that great irony? Love it!”

Sue Dunum
Reportering for The Lapine

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