Friday, December 31, 2010

The Bee Hive

The Bee Hive

Bees are fanciful creatures
Found soaring amongst the out-stretched stems of feline flora
Scientifically assessing the virility of each fragrant maiden
Nature’s surrogate Samaritan pollinating the cushioned beds of sun-drenched virgins
Stigmatizing erect stamen with a buzzing gentleness

But where have our gentle creatures gone
The yellow and black striped tuxedos rarely visit anymore
Flowers fewer as concrete pads fill the terra beds
Toxic particles saturate the once clean air
The skill of the gardener’s hand now retreated to the grave

Those hardy remaining few still retreat to the hive at each day’s end
A menagerie of hexagonal portals formed with repetitive accuracy
Pollen and sweetened honey shape its gelatinous walls
The young and yet to be lay dormant within the geometric chambers
At the centre of its womb rests a watchful Queen

A colony filled with structure and social order
Worker bees keep constant the hive temperature while dispensing pollen
Laying worker bees given charge of birthing the manly drones
The latter in turn become the impregnators of the awaiting Queen
Nature’s harem simulating a sweet utopian fantasy

But is this really so
Will this carefully crafted monarchy stand the test of time
Are we as the diminishing bumble bee
Perhaps sadly already prisoners inside an impenetrable wall of deceit
Flowers lost, the Bumble Bee lost and perhaps Paradise lost too.

Thank you,
Joseph Pede

Monday, December 27, 2010

The Multinational

The Multinational

A grotesque aberration spawned by good intentions
Inventive minds conjuring the secrets of the physical world
Innovation casting the past into recession
The future unwillingly to be impacted by its special effects

This is the birth of the multinational
An idea obsessed by boundless economic benefit
A creative mind lured into the jaws of greed
Patent ready destruction synergizing a veiled force of financial opportunism

The inventor bestowed with prosperity and wealth
Befriended by Elitists, Politicians and the hunger of Moneylenders
Finally falling prey to an obsessive voraciousness to corrupt everything
As a cancer cell ravages the very host that gives it life

In due course this good intention marries another
Placing its impression on the phenomenon called life
Always on the look out to befriend the creativity of other magical minds
As melatonin works its wonder on the pineal

Its incarnation seen as pin striped suits walking within the guarded brick and mortar
Secret vaults store the ingredients of mind-bending mutation
A political bodyguard sits at its right side
The law comfortably flanking the transgressing left

Look closely to realize that we have given birth to anarchy
A Pandora’s Box whose lid lays dormant on a slippery floor
Ideas intended to comfort the few and not the masses
A financial monster whose conduct ultimately breeds contempt for all concerned.

Thank you,
Joseph Pede

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Dispensable Lives

Dispensable Lives

Obsolescence was the credo of the twentieth century
Mechanized manufacturing replaced the talented hand
Computerization laid dormant the thinking mind, and
Technology tantalized the yearning of the insatiable ego

Mankind had stumbled upon Satan’s secret door
No longer a Garden of everlasting potential
But rather a vineyard of hallucinogenic possibilities
Supplemented by a plethora of pharmaceutical candy

The Cross, the Stars and Crescent Moon thrown into celestial chaos
The Prophets of history subjected to scorn and ridicule
Saints and Martyrs mocked for their piety
The Clergy victims of the body politic and their own debauchery

Gold and silver transformed into a diabolical paper
Glorified with symbols of all seeing possibilities
Monarchs, in treasonous treachery, fashioned the iconography
Natures’ illustration on the backside depicted what would be lost

The greed for everything has cost us all
Dispensable clothes, cars and family now mean that we are dispensable too
A fetus, a child, a woman, a man and all God’s creation
Now the sorrow filled puss of a veiled and cowardly Satanic power.

Thank you,
Joseph Pede

Friday, December 24, 2010

My Friend Victor

My Friend Victor

To my very best friend Victor
His name an oxymoron in light of his many personal challenges
His life comparable to that of the romantically nomadic gypsy
Celebrating his being with every woman he meets

Kandinsky and Picasso his abstractionist heroes
He to the nonrepresentational and conceptual artist
One who reflects through his own paintings and sculpture
Sketching life as the jovial vagrant on the edges of the human boundary

Victor’s condition may stem from the fact that he is as the wandering Jew
It could also be that the Rabbi had too much vodka at the Bris
Nonetheless he boasts of very lengthy manhood
Comparing his “gefilte fish” to the very best Mandingo male

Victor’s composition and spelling skills are atrocious
But what comes out of his mouth is a joy to the bewildered ear
Perhaps he is one of the best story-tellers I know
His madness and mannerisms will mesmerize the unguarded listener

A man who finds comfort smoking peyote amidst a Mexican desert
A fool who will use his pecker as bait while swimming with sharks
His fingers generally found stuck inside his nose
Then completing their journey with an occasional tooth cleaning

What else can I say about my hilariously eccentric Heeb
An intellectual soul who has found comfort in anonymity and isolation
Abandoned much of what he once loved
Yet happy and spiritually bliss with his Indian Masks looking down upon him.

Merry Christmas to my Jew Bagel,
Joseph Pede

Santa Claus

Santa Claus

It was a cold and sun lit night
A thin layer of snow blanketed the icy tundra
Sam the Seal looked very comfortable snoring as a hot dog
Polar Bear Pete appeared awfully suspicious smoking a cigar

The Elves were reminiscing atop the igloos
Mrs. Claus was gently basting her behind by a glowing fire
Rudolph had had one too many Jack Daniels for the long road ahead
Santa smiled when a Native told him he looked very well fed

The eve of the big night has become much less stressful
Letters to Santa have diminished in the trillions
Children no longer request the simple things
A flat screen TV and iPhone are just too tough to build with no training

The Elves too have become distraught over current events
Their carving, screwing and painting days were over
Board games have become as relics
The choo choo train has chugged right off the cliff

It’s great that the children of the Body Politic have remained well grounded
Their requests have not changed for centuries
They appeal for austerity and ask for a balanced quantity of gold and diamonds
The secret P.S. means that the pornographic services voucher is still in vogue

Nonetheless, life for Santa has become quite more subdued
A joyride atop a humpback whale occasionally eliminates the blues
He now spends more time talking to his old Anunnaki friends, and
Yes he is learning how to play with that confounded HAARP

Christmas comes but one time a year
But lately it feels just like another day for Santa
Sadly, he came to believe his time was up
That is, until Mrs. Claus told him there may be a pole shift.

Thank you,
Joseph Pede

Thursday, December 23, 2010



A name chosen by the hand of God
A young mother it was written she would be
A womb whose chastity had never been broken
Seeded with a Son by divine intervention

Wife to a simple carpenter
Mother to all mankind
Deliverer of life’s greatest mystery
Bearer of infinite sorrow

She was as the “Silent Night”
Walking only in the shadow of a great light
Her hand had wiped many a tear
Caressed a Child who knew no fear

Ave, Ave Maria
Pray for us Mother Mary
Mortal fools puppeted by evil misdirection
Souls empty of all spiritual reflection

Pray that we remember the Child in the manger
His message of love valiant no matter the danger
A Son crucified upon the cross
At Easter we rejoice in remembering your loss.

Merry Christmas,
Joseph Pede

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Illogical Lines

Illogical Lines

The world was flat but now even more so
Apparitions are real people who do not matter
Prescription drugs are apportioned and not dispensed
The Devil fell from Heaven in his attempt to rise to top
Prolonging life can be like proroguing parliament
A soft drink has hardening effects on your head
Seasoning the weather portends unreasonable seasons
The art of war should be painted with oil and not blood
A harmonious string of words forms clarified butter
Running is a quicker way of walking away
A degree means you are about to intensify the human condition
The Masonic Halls are appealing “don’t ask, don’t tell”
The end comes quickly when you start too late
Laughing at a joke means your eyes are shut wide open
Think so you can be more of “watt you are” and for “watt I am”
Harper sold out Canada for 30 pieces of silver not gold.

Thank you,
Joseph Pede

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

The Mortician

The Mortician

Have you undertaken to prepare for your death
The Mortician has been preparing for your arrival since birth
Doctors prepped you long ago with the first vaccination
They then primed you with all the subsequent needles

Fast Food was your first introduction into the edible cornucopia of toxic crap
The filler for that grub is immersed in NH3 to make it colourless
The remains of the ammonia clean the toilet bowl when you take a piss
Sugar coated candy makes the pee smell good when it drips inside your pants

Soon enough your instinctual and primitive desires flourished
A fag was your first attempt at killing your lungs
A little bit of controlled moonshine helped camouflage the smell of smoke
A chemical composition of equine remains freshened the bad breath

At twenty one you were formally pickled
A big pecker meant that you had had one too many Big Mac’s
Big breasts were the by-product of one too many hard boiled eggs
A big mouth meant you were going to be in trouble with the hookers

The working years were great
This was your initiation into Genetically Modified Foods
Broccoli became “broccules”
Gourds became “gourgantuan”

By the time you were thirty the doctor recommended the first blood pressure meds
When turning forty he suggested something for the high cholesterol
Somewhere along the way the thyroid departed and a new hormone came into play
When you turned fifty Viagra made the pecker perform on cue

By now you had been prepped, primed and pickled
That means you were ready for the vacuum hose to go up your ass
You were also ready for tubular plastic to go down your oesophagus, and
By now they knew your bank balance and favourite casket colour

Long ago they embalmed corpses with formaldehyde
CH2O is a known carcinogen so they wanted to make sure you were really dead
Today they pre-embalm you with a global sprinkling of Corexit
When they stick you six feet under, you disperse the pool of oil for the devils.

Thank you,
Joseph Pede



If we thought tobacco companies were destroying our health
We will conclude that Banks are destroying the very fabric of human life
If we thought asbestos was destroying the human lung
It will be sad to learn that Corexit is eradicating every form of Earthly life

If we thought Communism was a political evil
Democracy will be crowned the double-agent of deceit
If we thought Hitler was the re-incarnation of evil
The secretive Rothschilds will be proclaimed Satan’s gift to mankind

If we thought the media was a voice of social reason
We will learn they were the greatest manipulators of the human mind
If we thought the military was our protectorate
It will be tragic when we learn they have readied the chains

If we think of our political leaders as being democratically elected
The shock of learning they were appointed will make your stomach turn
If we come to believe there is no God
His disappointment will be realized when you ask Him why.

Thank you,
Joseph Pede

A Glass of Ale

A Glass of Ale

Let us sit and have a glass of ale
Listen to Mary Hopkin sing “Those Were the Days”
Be inspired by a determined youth
Reflect on life when life was alive with laughter

Inspiration courtesy of a brew concocted from a smelly malt
Friendship pasteurized over a joke and hardy jest
Argue the ridiculous politics of the day
Exaggerate your dreams knowing their impossibility was possible

Snooker a few balls over a badly stained and dilapidated felt
Throw a dart at a dissected black and yellow circle
Listen to the folk guitar stir your soul
Measure your manhood by the scent of the passing barmaid

Stroll the mile home in hardy laughter through the dark night
No ball and chain to tire your journey
The soles of the shoes are thick and the leather gritty
Hands formed by the hardness of stone bid a friend farewell

The door opens to a warm embracing hug
Its force exorcizes the spirits and vexes that which alcohol could not
A warm bed and loving wife
The greatest gift was now the night and the morrow.

Thank you,
Joseph Pede

Monday, December 20, 2010



The gravity of gravity is impossible to describe
Confiscate its grasp and you are left with pandemonium
Appreciate its force and all things surrender
The significance of this invisible energy is misunderstood

Gravity, one might say, is the universal guardian
It demarcates the stations of celestial crossing
It defines the spacing of space
It forms the shape and design of the universal egg

Is gravity an internal force present in all planetary objects
Is gravity responsible for universal contraction and expansion
Is gravity the lung that warps space
Does it ultimately give birth to the next dimension

At an Earthly level gravity creates stability
It allows people to stand on their own two feet
It stores water in fossil filled basins
It allows birds to fly and fish to slice through water

Ultimately gravity grounds your reason
It stores in chemical order all the liquid in your brain
It directs the flow of blood throughout your entire body
It would be grave to go to grave having ignored the gravity of the situation.

Thank you,
Joseph Pede

Saturday, December 18, 2010

The Solemn Act of Being

The Solemn Act of Being

What one factor affirms your state of being
Is it while you exercise all your individual senses
Can it be the verifiable reflection in the mirror
Perhaps it is the mass of flesh that surrounds your inner mystery

Contemplating life is as to consider it in its absence
The act of living could be the affirmation that nothing is the real existence
These two absolutes define the solemn act of being
A contemplation that yields eternity or nothingness

In being we are granted the sequential randomness of life
Life is a spontaneous creation of confusion supplementing the universal chaos
It intervenes to cast its hollow judgement on the reasonableness of a God
It provides no answers just more questions

To define life would be to truly understand the essence of being
Biologically and chemically we are the composition of simple elements
Physically we are a maniacal mosaic of universal matter
Metaphysically we are a wonderment of complete and utter confusion

The solemn act of being requires your best question
It matters not that you have spent a lifetime ignoring the two absolutes
What matters is that in the final act of life you reflect on having been
This last meditation fills all that was empty when you were

The moment of death provides a windowless view of eternity
It lends its consciousness to one of the two absolutes
Where you sit in your moment of destruction helps to define the ultimate salvation for all
Eternity and nothing are a choice.

Thank you,
Joseph Pede

Friday, December 17, 2010

In Search of Pussy

In Search of Pussy

Recently I was looking at my old baby pictures
Dad certainly had taken quite the photographic mixture
The best of them display me in the Playgirl style
With my weeny erect atop the pooper pile

As you get older those pictures become inappropriate
Yet I remember mom and dad walking around with all their aggregate
All that comes to mind is the word “bushy”
My God they even had hair growing out of their tushy

It was not long before I grew my own hairy pile
Back then long hair was cool, so my whole body was in style
Funny but the face was the last place hair came into play
Density obviously a factor of mom’s DNA

With all the equipment now in place
I was in search of pussy and an attractive face
In your teen-age years an erection comes easy
Your day is preoccupied with everything dirty and sleezy

The University years brought everything to halt
Women took control every time you tried to gently assault
They were more interested in career and money
Pussy became the bird in the hand but never the honey

Soon enough life had you snatch the perfect girl
Pick the right wife and mom would say you caught a perfect pearl
Finding pussy was easy but very hard to catch
Night after night you found yourself begging for entry into the hatch

Ah we hit the gold mine when it was time to make a kid
The wife said, young man, it’s time to pull out that primitive id
These were great times for me and Mr. Pecker
I was the star of the production and my own best heckler

It’s funny but those pictures of the poop pile came back to haunt me
Every time I had an erection the baby decided to take a pee
As the kids got older it became even tougher
Lights out, noise levels down, silence under the covers and boy did I suffer

Well we are all alone and the kids are gone
All that testosterone gone, just as lead removed from the fuel at Exxon
Mr. Willy comes and goes these days
The misses not pre-disposed to try a little sex in different ways.

Thank you,
Joseph Pede

Thursday, December 16, 2010

From Evil to Chaos to Tyranny

From Evil to Chaos to Tyranny

In the year 2011, twenty eleven
We will look once again for that Stairway to Heaven
Fuel and energy prices will continue their momentous rise
The European Union inaugurating its destined demise

Mass global unemployment will send shivers down empty pockets
The financial markets we will learn, are void of all bailout sprockets
The Yankee dollar will disintegrate into dust
The Sun will become catastrophic for the Earth’s upper crust

Food and water, once a privilege for all
Hunger and thirst a critical factor in the human fall
The eight tells of the Luciferian vocation
The impact of the Devil’s Messiah we await on Godly nations

The ninth is the conundrum for John Doe
Mistake not a “One World Crisis” for that goofy Gong Show
Ten after all is enough for now
2011 may be the year little green men resurrect Chairman Mao

Where did the twentieth century go
It ended with apocalyptic fear and diminishing snow
Y2K seems like a memory
Nickel, Bismuth and Ruthenium forms the 2012 emissary

In one short decade we have lived an entire life time
We witnessed murder, disease and every hate crime
Bush the assassin to Madoff the thief
Government criminals to military action and disbelief

Dust the fife and drum from the closet
The global armies are the servants of a diabolical composite
Exercise all your acts of bravery
Twenty eleven may be the year we return to slavery.

Thank you,
Joseph Pede

Our Politicians, CEO's and Bankers are complicit in Global Murder and a Financial Armageddon. Why have they not paid for their crimes?

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Hang the Carcass High

Hang the Carcass High

Cattle are docile creatures that love to graze amid the grass
The end result is cud accompanied by a smelly methane gas
They occasionally look up to assess the vehicular traffic
When they moo it means the bull has become somewhat pornographic

After a hearty meal they plop their hefty odorous dung
It’s amusing when they yawn and stick out that long pink tongue
Up and down the field they roam all day
Then at night they return to the comfort of the barn and a bale of hay

The farmer carefully grooms them for their intended fate
Keeping them well fed and mildly over weight
An occasional dose of anti-biotic will ensure their healthy state
For the butcher it will mean he can elongate the consumer expiry date

A loud whistle begins the boarding on the doomsday truck
Little do they know they have become as a sitting duck
The ride in close quarters does bring a little unease
In twenty hours they will be all chopped-up and ready for the deep freeze

Off the hauler and into the slaughter
Queued for death they receive a quick bath with frigid water
A bullet to the brain and so begins their quiver
With belly sliced open Hannibal rejoices, it’s time for fava beans, Chianti and liver

Hang the carcass high to finish the butchery
A premium hyde will one day blanket the shoulders of treachery
The guts then spew into an awaiting container
Murder is that easy when the victim is a no brainer.

Thank you,
Joseph Pede

Sunday, December 12, 2010

The Man

The Man

The Man has made a comeback in the Still of the Night
Born to be Wild still inspires Steppenwolf’s revolutionary plight
Vietnam to Afghanistan, we have not learned thing
The words of a promised land, remember Martin Luther and Mr. King

Sitting on the Dock of the Bay you will find Otis Redding
Towards the House of the Rising Sun he glared as the darkness began spreading
It’s Impossible Perry Como tried to tell us all
There Ain’t No Sunshine sang Bill Withers from the music hall

Johnny spoke of Sunday Morning Coming Down
Petula knew main street would no longer be in the old Downtown
Jobs are Blowin’ in the Wind and the young are in revolt
The Battle of New Orleans may restart with an email rather than a six-shooter colt

In 1965 we were on The Eve of Destruction
The Pill assisted lust by controlling sexual reproduction
Only Women Bleed was the message according to Alice Cooper
Now we have progressed from abusive relationships to a decadent global stupor

If I Were a Carpenter the words of Jesus I would heed
Do You Believe in Magic could be the words of a new angelic creed
All the Leaves are Brown and the Sky is Grey
Perhaps a Beautiful Day is in store for U2 if you just learned to pray

Skynard preaches to be a Simple Man but watch out for each Sign
A poem, remember, requires that you read in between each line
Painted Black or painted white, did you forget the 60’s and our willingness to fight
Dion revived Abraham, Martin and John so we could remember each heartbreaking night

There Ain’t No Sunshine according to who
The Long and Winding Road is long but we know what to do
Nights in White Satin, the words are beautiful and pure
Yesterday may be haunting but in the arms of Mother Mary you will be secure.

Love & Peace to all the “BEATNIKS and HIPPIES”
Joseph Pede

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Christmas Dinner

Christmas Dinner

For Christmas I would like a big fat turkey
Equipped with big breasts and long legs to go with my hardy beef jerky
The accompaniment of corn and peas would also be nice
Garnished with puff pastry and a heaping service of Indian wild rice

A cool glass of white wine should flank the plate
Imagine the escaping gas as my bum begins to dilate
In comes the second serving of Gulf Coast lobster
A special three-clawed delicacy packaged by the Big Petroleum mobster

Crack the first claw and find Madoff’s old Versace attire
Crack the second claw and find a bale of rolled up barbed wire
The third claw contains the remains of a skeletal Haitian
What an awfully strange Christmas crustacean

I just can't wait for that tantalizing dessert
Fried monkey balls complimented with a light chocolate squirt
Golly, mamma reminded me of the vanilla ice cream
To top it all off, rice pudding would make the end of dinner incredibly supreme

Now imagine letting all that fine food ferment
A good belch would mark the room with a heavenly scent
But I cannot be a boor, I must show some class and style
First a shot of bourbon to make sure that water-logged pecker remains fertile

Light up a cigar dipped in a Grand Marnier wash
Feet up on the Lazy-boy would make me look extremely panache
A cunning smile would introduce the expulsion of that awaiting hardy burp
The pants all a flutter as the behind begins its musical chirp

Christmas dinner sounds simply divine
Great food accompanied by a nice bottle of Chardonnay wine
Enjoy the night in the company of family and many a good friend
With a bathroom brawl and a royal flush is how it would end.

Thank you,
Joseph Pede

Friday, December 10, 2010

Harper, Rockin’ and Playin’

Harper, Rockin’ and Playin’

Harper, rockin’ and playin’ a tune by Mick Jagger
While on stage he looked to impersonate the ultimate shagger
Only in Canada, Eh, can a Prime Minister sing
With Clinton on Sax, look for them to be the opening act in Beijing

Harper was also seen doing the Watusi at the United Nations
The solo performance did give off some very strange vibrations
Found ranting and raving “Security Council” in the halls
All the while scratching and scraping his two middle balls

The lifers one by one appear to be departing his band
Nonetheless his kingdom, he proclaims, will always remain in his mighty hand
A little folly is good when doing the political Shuffle
It definitely primes Stephen’s ego amidst the growing kerfuffle

This is a man of real contradictions
Perhaps a dictator with some real deep moral convictions
He brandishes the persona of a humble politician
Casual wear, nifty haircut and the look of a Sunday school musician

Enter backstage and there you will find our beloved leader
Jeans, shit-kickers and nicknamed the champion breeder
Bronco busting his pass-time at the weekend rodeo
Ignatieff follows drowned out by Harper’s loud stereo.

Thank you,
Joseph Pede

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas

Once upon a time, a long time ago
A special child was born to become our Hero
Wise men drawn to His side by a shining star
The people gathered to celebrate at the weekly bazaar

Tiny was this figure who would one day change the world
His saga would take thirty three years to completely unfurl
His dominion we know was not of this Earth
He came solely to provide humanity, spiritual rebirth

His life began with Herod’s decree of a first son slaughter
This was a time that father thanked God for his baby daughter
A mule and camouflage did stay such a tragedy
His story none the less would end on the mount of a bloody Calvary

A young carpenter by trade like His father
To Mother Mary perhaps a pest but never a bother
Mysterious was to be the life of this majestic Son
Humanity lay in waiting to understand the essence of that special Some-One

Two millennia later and we are still confused
With Santa Claus and Rudolph we find ourselves much more bemused
Let us rejoice with Frosty the Snowman and the Grinch who stole Christmas
How did the message of Jesus become the antithesis?

Thank you,
Joseph Pede

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Imagine the Silence

Imagine the Silence

Imagine joyful tears and not the cries
Imagine the look of wonderment rather than bewildered eyes
Imagine a hand that cares for a person in distress
Imagine a pointed finger unable to oppress

Look upon the silence of the unborn embryo
Look cautiously to understand the globalist’s hidden manifesto
Look past the surface of the soil to find the hibernating seeds of life
Look past your vision to find the neighbouring human strife

Imagine God and an idyllic Heaven
Imagine yourself amongst the other eleven
Imagine hate the victim of its own greed
Imagine love as the foundation of a universal creed

Look to discover the nature of disease
Look to undo the impact of a scripted financial freeze
Look to expose those who perpetrate wars
Look for those who script untruths behind secret doors

Imagine the silence between the chaos
Imagine the power of a global pathos
Imagine fear allied with a mighty courage
Imagine knowing the Great Spirit will you encourage

Look first upon all the possibilities
Look then to find solutions amongst all the probabilities
Look past your limitations and fear
Look for God’s calling as your ultimate career.

Thank you,
Joseph Pede